I miss my baby Daren Joyce

Every night, my wife used to wait for me to have a chat on the internet. It is so because I have a limited internet connection. My internet connection starts at 4:00pm, that’s 10:00pm in the Philippines. And we can start chatting at 5:00pm, my local time. During the time that she's waiting for me to be available, she spend her time by scanning our pictures and she’s uploading it in the Facebook account of our daughter, Daren.


It happened one time that I open my Facebook account and I’ve noticed the update on my daughters’ account. I open and view her photo album. Inside are her photos when she was one year old, then when she turned two years old and so on. Also included in the album is our picture taken few days before I left for Libya. She was 1 year old and 3 months at that time. Viewing those pictures, all I can utter is, “I miss my baby Daren Joyce.” Yes, I really miss my daughter…. a lot. I miss when I am watching her taking her first step. How she falls and tries to get up again and walk. And when she finally made a few steps from me, she would look back to me and flash her sweet smile, as if saying, “Papa I can walk now, see.” I miss when she reaches out to me so I can carry her. I miss those times when we go to the beach, on how I run after as she makes her way to the water while her cousins are afraid.

There was a time that she even thought that she don’t have a father. She was almost two years old at that time. She went to her Mama and told her, “Why is it that the other kids have Papa, but for me, I don’t have one.” My wife told her that she got one but is working in Libya. Upon hearing that, she jumps and shouts, “Yehey, I have a Papa.” How I wish I am there to share with her that joyful moment.

During my first vacation, I was able to see in her eyes the pride of having a real Papa. Her joy at that time is at its peak. I remember the time when I was about to go back to Libya. She is sitting quietly besides me, watching me wrapping my luggage with masking tape. She was on tears when we finally say goodbye to each other. In order to lessen the loneliness they went to sleep. But when my daughter woke up, she immediately took all her toys and wrapped them with masking tape. My wife asked her, “What are you doing?” She replied without looking to her Mama, “We are going to Libya to be with Papa, he’s waiting for us.” It brought me to tears, when my wife told me that story. How I wish I can be with my family at that moment.

There a lot more wonderful story of my daughter, some of them captured through the pictures and sad to say I was not there. Now our daughter is 10 years old. Time really passed by so quickly and I missed her growing up.

To my Daren Joyce, I miss you so much, anak. My promise, before you enter high school, I will be there to be with you, to be with Mama and to be with your brother, Isko. I love you.